Wow what an honour to be included with 2 ideas, the postcards and the post on London. 💖thanks for reading and sharing Barbs! Absolutely love the lineup of posts and writers there! Btw I had zero clue what Tonfall the postcard thing I started and didn’t think it would turn into a thing haha so it sounds a bit random. Been so much fun to witness others pick up the idea and share the love for slow mail.
ohhh I wanna join the postcard club! As some who has lived in five different countries, I too often get the question "where are you from?" and wonder which version of the story I should tell, ha!
Hi Polina! I will have to check out your blog because I am very curious to know how a Russian ended up in NZ :) I understand sharing your address can be uncomfortable, and if you wish to join the club you could even consider being the one sending postcards, instead! thank you for commenting and for reassuring me that being funny in English doesn’t come automatically with knowing the language -sigh
They say "never judge a book by its cover", but the titles of the posts you list, make me both scared and excited to click on the links. Excited because the topics seem on point, and scared because they seem... On point.
I am glad to be part of the postcard club. Even more glad that you liked my post enough to include it in this list :)
The titles ARE on point, aren’t them?! And your post was inspiring! I don’t know how people cope with multiple tabs open at once, but if you are okay with that, definitely click on all of the links and enjoy the -literal- journey :)
Awww 🥰 I also received a postcard from Carmen! It's so cute. It's still on my desk, and I keep looking at it throughout the day haha no one ever sends me a postcard these days!
I'm not an expat but an immigrant child, and I still get asked where I'm from every day! Yayyy!! I was born and raised in Germany. My mom is Greek, and my dad is Turkish. My parents came as guest workers. It's pretty exhausting and triggering. I wrote about it a while back https://tugbaavci.substack.com/p/on-not-belonging
Hi! Thanks for dropping your link! I'll definitely check out your story. I knew the "really from" question would be a sensitive topic for some :/ it must be so frustrating! Have people, assuming you're a migrant, also told you that you speak really good German?
I hope it's ok that I shared the link :-/ It might be interesting to get another perspective. Although you are Italian, you must know some Italians who were "guest workers" in Germany, too. I get the chills with the word guest worker.
OMG, Barbs, yes hahaha I have been told I speak good German!! It is crazy how insensitive some people are :-( Drawing conclusions straight away. Many also can't empathise with why it's triggering for some of us. If you have been asked this question all your life and your identity is being questioned nonstop, it is very exhausting. Day in and out.
I started to have this little longing, a desire to connect with others who were living abroad. I think it started when I met Rahma (substack, A Woman Who Wanders) a few months back. I wanted to hear their stories, how they survive in a foreign place, navigate life in a second language, see a country through fresh lenses, cultural shocks, food, everything! I guess I wanted to connect with others who were in a similar place to me. Like you said, strangers who have far more in common with you than your childhood school friends! I wanted to share a good laugh. Have a whinge. Support.
I'm so excited to read every link you shared! I feel like I've been gifted a pile of good books! Thank you so much! And thanks a million for including me, I feel honoured ❤️
'gifted a pile of good books' omg this makes a list of links sound much more human :) Your experience and longing to connect is very much shared and you are welcome here
This is super interesting, ans maybe it’s because I’m tone deaf, but I have never had an issue being asked where I’m from. I also spent time in Japan where nobody asked because they were 100% sure I was an American, apparently the only Foreign Country recognized there even though they all want to visit Europe… but my shining moment of pride was the two times old people asked me for directions in Japanese fully expecting me to know where they should go. Like it’s also cool that I could in fact tell them, but it’s more cool that they asked in the first place.
Here in Canada we’re all a bit from somewhere so it’s a joyful thing I find. I just moved apartments, the moving crew was Moroccan-Russian, except one of the Russian guys was actually Khazakh, as he walked into the door he went ‘SERBIAN OR BULGARIAN??’ 😅 We were like ‘Serbian, guilty as charged’, then I found out the ethnicity of his entire family plus all of his political views, in great detail. We agreed on a lot weirdly.
The taxi driver that helped me transfer the last of the stuff was Berber, and surprised that I had heard of their language, Tamazight, which I had actually only found out about a few months ago at a random ‘day of languages’ at a local university, where they present short workshops on 10-12 languages and you can pick three. I picked Tamazight because I had no idea what it was and thought it might be one of the First Nations languages, which I have a lot of interest in.
So yeah, that question has honestly only brought me closer to people ❤️
Not tone-deaf at all! These are wholesome experiences (yes, even the moving-crew haha)! I am glad you're living in a place that allows this kind of easygoing multiculturalism. Often (as you might have gathered from the articles I linked) people are almost 'questioned' about their background or why they look a certain way. In some cases, the place where people are born has nothing to do with their identity and it can become challenging. I have to admit I did pull a face when you mentioned Japanese asked you for directions, that sounds like a pretty unique experience! I feel giddy too when people ask me for direction here, although I am aware I often send them the opposite way. Unintentionally, of course...
Ahaha sending them the wrong way on purpose would be diabolical 😅
It’s weird, belonging. I often think about our kids and where they would feel they belong. Growing up somewhere where people don’t look like you must be extra weird because you have the deep culture of that place but the face of a foreigner. By contrast immigrant countries like the UK, US and especially Canada have that advantage that most people are ‘from somewhere’, so that foreignness binds us - it’s a belonging through not belonging, hahah.
I felt the same when I got here! Everyone is from somewhere, and most people look like me here, which is definitely a plus. Although not many understand why one would leave Italy for this XD But yeah, 'belonging' is a tricky topic.
34 years ago today I left my ‘home country’, Canada, for the UK. I became a Londoner (as much as someone without a British accent can). I was there a generation- 21 years - before I left for America. No one ever asks where I’m ‘from’ and my Britishness is now forgotten. Yet I will never truly feel American and I have dreams of living my elderly life in Canada again. I miss Britain but once again, im no longer a Brit. A circle of life.
Now I’m so envious of the postcard club! I’ve been in and out of various countries my entire adult life. For the past nine years I’ve been living in Amsterdam, where almost half the city is from somewhere else. I liked that feeling of my weirdness being normal so much that a few years ago I tattooed a map of Amsterdam on my back. But nowhere is ever really fully “home” once you’ve replanted yourself this much.
I love that you felt so much at home to tattoo the city on your body! That's the coolest feeling. I started to accept the idea that one can feel at home in more than one place. Actually, that might be a luxury even!
Hi, Thank you so much for including me! As an Adult Third Culture Kid, who grew up ricocheting between Hong Kong and Scotland, I still constantly question where I belong and my identity. And so do other people…
I’m in good company here, and look forward to reading the other articles on your list.
I absolutely love this, Barbs! I've been thinking of doing something similar since seeing Carmen share her love of sending postcards. I would love to join (sending and receiving postcards) 😍
I'm originally from Canada, but have lived in Thailand for 8 years. Before that I lived in Australia for a bit, and travelled around South East Asia. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about here. ❤️ Sending love!
This is your sign to keep the postcard circle going, then ;) I'm glad you're joining us (I'll DM you for address etc). What's the favourite place you've lived in??
It's hard to choose a favourite. If I had to, it would be Yellowknife, NT in Canada and also where I'm at now (Pai, Thailand) holds a special place in my heart.
Canada and Thailand sound like they would be very different places but with friendly people, that's so interesting :) I felt at home as soon as I landed in Melbourne so I'd say this is one of my favourite places to live
Ohh Melbourne is lovely! Such a vibrant city. I remember I got a parking ticket there once 🫣🤣 What's your favourite thing about it there?
You've definitely hit the nail on the head with Canada and Thailand being different but with friendly people. I tend to gravitate to smaller towns/cities than the larger ones. I'd say the connecting thread is community and familiarity.
I have to say, Melbourne never made me feel like I stood out (being the token goth in a small town has been challenging growing up!) and I appreciate tall buildings and having things to do (theatres / cinemas/ 7-11/... You now, the basics)
The Postcard Club, I love that name! We need to keep it up and enlarge it (the club!). :))
I think it was a wonderful idea to connect in a very different way. Somehow, just knowing you sent an actual postcard to a real life person who go to touch it once received, just that made our connections different, anti-twitter-like, or something like that.
You compiled a great reading list over here, can't wait to discover the ones I don't know! :)
I agree! On TwitteX we’re all sort of 2 degrees of separation from someone ‘famous’ or whatever, but exchanging actual postcards hits in a different way! So thank you thank you thank you, and yes let’s make the club even bigger ;)
I love this, Barbs! Yes, you're very funny in English. No question! 🤣 I read your counsin’s account of growing up and it does sound idyllic and difficult: “Last year, Gastroillogica and I, were in Italy at our Homestead, as she calls it, surrounded by trees and memories.“ I love the “trees and memories” bit. I always wanted to try fried courgette/zuchinni flowers! My Dad used to collect postcards and our whole family would send them to him and he'd send them back. 💞 One of my colleagues in Singapore sent me a postcard recently and I have been meaning to send one back.
I'd say, consider this a sign that it's time to send that postcard back :) and thanks for checking out my cousin's page, it's always a surprise when she mentions me! she has a way with words but I enjoy the articles where she gets mad at people the most XD
Wow what an honour to be included with 2 ideas, the postcards and the post on London. 💖thanks for reading and sharing Barbs! Absolutely love the lineup of posts and writers there! Btw I had zero clue what Tonfall the postcard thing I started and didn’t think it would turn into a thing haha so it sounds a bit random. Been so much fun to witness others pick up the idea and share the love for slow mail.
I loved your article explaining how it started! Maybe it's not a capital-M movement yet, but we'll see how far I get to reach ;)
ohhh I wanna join the postcard club! As some who has lived in five different countries, I too often get the question "where are you from?" and wonder which version of the story I should tell, ha!
Right? RIGHT? this is what our 'friends from home' won't get. Where did you live?
Am I even funny in English is such a legit question I ask myself regularly.
Hello from a Russian living in New Zealand 🧡
I looooove snail 🐌 mail, so happy to exchange postcards, even though I am terrified of sharing my personal details online 😁
Hi Polina! I will have to check out your blog because I am very curious to know how a Russian ended up in NZ :) I understand sharing your address can be uncomfortable, and if you wish to join the club you could even consider being the one sending postcards, instead! thank you for commenting and for reassuring me that being funny in English doesn’t come automatically with knowing the language -sigh
I haven't written about my journey to NZ, but long story short I dreamt about seeing the country, hopped on a plane and here I am 12 years later 🤯
I will risk giving my address to a stranger for a chance to receive postcard in the mail 😁
I can also reassure you that you are very funny in English 😉
A dream? That's fantastic!! :)
They say "never judge a book by its cover", but the titles of the posts you list, make me both scared and excited to click on the links. Excited because the topics seem on point, and scared because they seem... On point.
I am glad to be part of the postcard club. Even more glad that you liked my post enough to include it in this list :)
Yes, wanted to say the same thing! THE most daunting list but awesome if in the right mood! Loved the accompanying post, too, Barbs.
The titles ARE on point, aren’t them?! And your post was inspiring! I don’t know how people cope with multiple tabs open at once, but if you are okay with that, definitely click on all of the links and enjoy the -literal- journey :)
Awww 🥰 I also received a postcard from Carmen! It's so cute. It's still on my desk, and I keep looking at it throughout the day haha no one ever sends me a postcard these days!
I'm not an expat but an immigrant child, and I still get asked where I'm from every day! Yayyy!! I was born and raised in Germany. My mom is Greek, and my dad is Turkish. My parents came as guest workers. It's pretty exhausting and triggering. I wrote about it a while back https://tugbaavci.substack.com/p/on-not-belonging
Hi! Thanks for dropping your link! I'll definitely check out your story. I knew the "really from" question would be a sensitive topic for some :/ it must be so frustrating! Have people, assuming you're a migrant, also told you that you speak really good German?
I hope it's ok that I shared the link :-/ It might be interesting to get another perspective. Although you are Italian, you must know some Italians who were "guest workers" in Germany, too. I get the chills with the word guest worker.
OMG, Barbs, yes hahaha I have been told I speak good German!! It is crazy how insensitive some people are :-( Drawing conclusions straight away. Many also can't empathise with why it's triggering for some of us. If you have been asked this question all your life and your identity is being questioned nonstop, it is very exhausting. Day in and out.
Of course it's okay to share the link! :) sorry I haven't read it yet, I'm trying to keep the reading as a lunch break treat to avoid scrolling.
I can only imagine the effect of being questioned on the basis of appearance, as if your identity needs to fit into some stranger's mental mould.
I started to have this little longing, a desire to connect with others who were living abroad. I think it started when I met Rahma (substack, A Woman Who Wanders) a few months back. I wanted to hear their stories, how they survive in a foreign place, navigate life in a second language, see a country through fresh lenses, cultural shocks, food, everything! I guess I wanted to connect with others who were in a similar place to me. Like you said, strangers who have far more in common with you than your childhood school friends! I wanted to share a good laugh. Have a whinge. Support.
I'm so excited to read every link you shared! I feel like I've been gifted a pile of good books! Thank you so much! And thanks a million for including me, I feel honoured ❤️
'gifted a pile of good books' omg this makes a list of links sound much more human :) Your experience and longing to connect is very much shared and you are welcome here
This is super interesting, ans maybe it’s because I’m tone deaf, but I have never had an issue being asked where I’m from. I also spent time in Japan where nobody asked because they were 100% sure I was an American, apparently the only Foreign Country recognized there even though they all want to visit Europe… but my shining moment of pride was the two times old people asked me for directions in Japanese fully expecting me to know where they should go. Like it’s also cool that I could in fact tell them, but it’s more cool that they asked in the first place.
Here in Canada we’re all a bit from somewhere so it’s a joyful thing I find. I just moved apartments, the moving crew was Moroccan-Russian, except one of the Russian guys was actually Khazakh, as he walked into the door he went ‘SERBIAN OR BULGARIAN??’ 😅 We were like ‘Serbian, guilty as charged’, then I found out the ethnicity of his entire family plus all of his political views, in great detail. We agreed on a lot weirdly.
The taxi driver that helped me transfer the last of the stuff was Berber, and surprised that I had heard of their language, Tamazight, which I had actually only found out about a few months ago at a random ‘day of languages’ at a local university, where they present short workshops on 10-12 languages and you can pick three. I picked Tamazight because I had no idea what it was and thought it might be one of the First Nations languages, which I have a lot of interest in.
So yeah, that question has honestly only brought me closer to people ❤️
Not tone-deaf at all! These are wholesome experiences (yes, even the moving-crew haha)! I am glad you're living in a place that allows this kind of easygoing multiculturalism. Often (as you might have gathered from the articles I linked) people are almost 'questioned' about their background or why they look a certain way. In some cases, the place where people are born has nothing to do with their identity and it can become challenging. I have to admit I did pull a face when you mentioned Japanese asked you for directions, that sounds like a pretty unique experience! I feel giddy too when people ask me for direction here, although I am aware I often send them the opposite way. Unintentionally, of course...
Ahaha sending them the wrong way on purpose would be diabolical 😅
It’s weird, belonging. I often think about our kids and where they would feel they belong. Growing up somewhere where people don’t look like you must be extra weird because you have the deep culture of that place but the face of a foreigner. By contrast immigrant countries like the UK, US and especially Canada have that advantage that most people are ‘from somewhere’, so that foreignness binds us - it’s a belonging through not belonging, hahah.
I felt the same when I got here! Everyone is from somewhere, and most people look like me here, which is definitely a plus. Although not many understand why one would leave Italy for this XD But yeah, 'belonging' is a tricky topic.
34 years ago today I left my ‘home country’, Canada, for the UK. I became a Londoner (as much as someone without a British accent can). I was there a generation- 21 years - before I left for America. No one ever asks where I’m ‘from’ and my Britishness is now forgotten. Yet I will never truly feel American and I have dreams of living my elderly life in Canada again. I miss Britain but once again, im no longer a Brit. A circle of life.
21 years truly is a generation! Those places seem drastically different and it's pretty cool not to be tied to one place with one identity
Now I’m so envious of the postcard club! I’ve been in and out of various countries my entire adult life. For the past nine years I’ve been living in Amsterdam, where almost half the city is from somewhere else. I liked that feeling of my weirdness being normal so much that a few years ago I tattooed a map of Amsterdam on my back. But nowhere is ever really fully “home” once you’ve replanted yourself this much.
I love that you felt so much at home to tattoo the city on your body! That's the coolest feeling. I started to accept the idea that one can feel at home in more than one place. Actually, that might be a luxury even!
Hi, Thank you so much for including me! As an Adult Third Culture Kid, who grew up ricocheting between Hong Kong and Scotland, I still constantly question where I belong and my identity. And so do other people…
I’m in good company here, and look forward to reading the other articles on your list.
You are in great company over here! I hope you will find new favorites among the articles I shared <3
I absolutely love this, Barbs! I've been thinking of doing something similar since seeing Carmen share her love of sending postcards. I would love to join (sending and receiving postcards) 😍
I'm originally from Canada, but have lived in Thailand for 8 years. Before that I lived in Australia for a bit, and travelled around South East Asia. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about here. ❤️ Sending love!
This is your sign to keep the postcard circle going, then ;) I'm glad you're joining us (I'll DM you for address etc). What's the favourite place you've lived in??
Yay! I most definitely will keep it going.
It's hard to choose a favourite. If I had to, it would be Yellowknife, NT in Canada and also where I'm at now (Pai, Thailand) holds a special place in my heart.
What about you?
Canada and Thailand sound like they would be very different places but with friendly people, that's so interesting :) I felt at home as soon as I landed in Melbourne so I'd say this is one of my favourite places to live
Ohh Melbourne is lovely! Such a vibrant city. I remember I got a parking ticket there once 🫣🤣 What's your favourite thing about it there?
You've definitely hit the nail on the head with Canada and Thailand being different but with friendly people. I tend to gravitate to smaller towns/cities than the larger ones. I'd say the connecting thread is community and familiarity.
I have to say, Melbourne never made me feel like I stood out (being the token goth in a small town has been challenging growing up!) and I appreciate tall buildings and having things to do (theatres / cinemas/ 7-11/... You now, the basics)
Thank you for sharing, Barbs!! I can relate to being token goth in a small town growing up—never fit in, still don't 😅
I love the idea of having so much to do in Melbourne! That can definitely be challenging in small towns.
The Postcard Club, I love that name! We need to keep it up and enlarge it (the club!). :))
I think it was a wonderful idea to connect in a very different way. Somehow, just knowing you sent an actual postcard to a real life person who go to touch it once received, just that made our connections different, anti-twitter-like, or something like that.
You compiled a great reading list over here, can't wait to discover the ones I don't know! :)
I agree! On TwitteX we’re all sort of 2 degrees of separation from someone ‘famous’ or whatever, but exchanging actual postcards hits in a different way! So thank you thank you thank you, and yes let’s make the club even bigger ;)
Thank you so much for the shoutout Barbs! Love all the essay recs in here.
No problem! I am sure your words will resonate with many others :) and hopefully there's something for you in this list, too
Grazie 🙏
Eh non potevo non mettere un link ai tuoi articoli
I love this, Barbs! Yes, you're very funny in English. No question! 🤣 I read your counsin’s account of growing up and it does sound idyllic and difficult: “Last year, Gastroillogica and I, were in Italy at our Homestead, as she calls it, surrounded by trees and memories.“ I love the “trees and memories” bit. I always wanted to try fried courgette/zuchinni flowers! My Dad used to collect postcards and our whole family would send them to him and he'd send them back. 💞 One of my colleagues in Singapore sent me a postcard recently and I have been meaning to send one back.
I'd say, consider this a sign that it's time to send that postcard back :) and thanks for checking out my cousin's page, it's always a surprise when she mentions me! she has a way with words but I enjoy the articles where she gets mad at people the most XD
Thank you for the shoutout :)!
Very well deserved! I always enjoy reading your blog but that article hit differently