The boyfriend: “If I grew a goatee I could cosplay Jafar!” Me: pulling my hair into a high ponytail and gazing at him seductively. Him: “Yes, you can be Iago.”
ok, the first time I visited my mother in law for the summer and I saw her folding my underwear I was mortified. Like how on earth do you live with other families? And ones that actually do chores?
It's a bit weird, right? I guess there is an overall sense of 'being a good host' that they are fully entitled to have, hence I didn't kick and scream to do my own laundry. But where is the line between being a respectful guest, and pulling your weight?
Funny story, as usual, and I loved the connection you made with Bluebeard. Very fitting, but unexpected!
But I have to say what struck me the most was the "background" info about your own childhood, opposed from your boyfriend's family life. That must have been very tough. It made me think that many comedians use humor to talk about painful truths. Sending hugs!
Nobody ever thinks of Bluebeard ;) thanks for your comment, and yes, sometimes I have to remind myself this isn't therapy (yet!) but I have to admit comedians that can be vulnerable and open are my favourite
I loved reading this so much, but Barbs! You unleashed a flood of questions in my mind now! I haven't experienced this before and I have NO idea how I will behave, react etc. if this does happen. I often want to busy myself, help out in the kitchen, do something, but what if they tell me to just sit and relax? Of course I'd listen, because I don't want to disrupt the family system and how they work, but oh my gosh. Also, my hair tends to be either a tad crazy, because curls, or wavy, because flat-iron and with the latter I find I "shed" a bit more. I already dislike when I see my own hair on the floor, but to have this happen at my future in-laws home? *flails*
..... Thanks for unlocking a new fear! I shed hair too, I am very aware of this fact especially when I shower (Hello, team collecting hair on the wall of the shower so it's easier to clean up) but I never thought of vacuuming everywhere in their home D: ... They had dogs so maybe hair on the carpet wasn't a big deal? As for the housework, I landed with helping out with laundry more or less consistently, I found that was what worked for us. Not a golden rule, but hopefully reassuring?
Awwww, I loved this, the innocence of wondering about the mysterious bedroom/extra bathroom is super sweet. I think every family is like it's own unique organism, working in super different ways. I once lived with my now mother-in-law for two months WITHOUT my partner (who was at the time living in a different city), all while I didn't speak the same language. Talk about being thrown in cold water. Beautifully written, I lolled at "Their floor was a floor, but every horizontal surface had mountain ranges."
living with the 'in-laws' without the partner present and with a language barrier sounds stressful. May I ask what cultural background you were living in? Were habits similar, or did you experience culture shock within 4 walls? My partner confirmed that most of his relatives and friends' parents seem to accumulate objects, likely from when they first got to the country and needed to save/make do with what they had. Throwing things away seemed a waste and that stuck with a generation.
I had just moved to Germany, so it was a bit of a culture difference (eg, way more direct communication, in Ireland people are very shy and indirect). Definitely lots of culture shock! I can totally understand what your boyfriend described as the emigrant “hoarder” mindset. It’s similar to grandparents who ply you with food and overfeed grandkids - they had such shortages of food from being war kids that they really fixate on that even in their old age.
I never had a "to bra or not to bra" dilemma, but had the same problem with tshirts, when I am hosting female friends. Or being hosted ofc. Overall it is not annoying, apart from the small moments, like: "do I really need to put on a tshirt just to walk from the bathroom to my bedroom?".
PS: I expected the last photo would include some kind of revelation about their bedroom😂
I'd say that's pretty much the same issue. So, how did you solve it? Also, the bedroom was a normal bedroom with no decoration, I should have taken a pic regardless, just for the build-up. But when the toilet paper accident happened I wasn't planning to write a blog post about it XD
Well I didn't really solve it. I just put on a tshirt, unless I just wake up in the middle of the night for a toilet run, in which case my mental bandwidth only includes "you-up-toilet-sleep".
I guess during the day is not as bad as having to wear a bra all the time. It is more the extra consideration that you always need to remember to wear something extra.
I'm moving in with a flat mate soon and I'm already grieving all the walking around naked that I'm doing now. My core memories of growing up with two brothers and a dad in the house were primarily good but I was always forced to show off items of my shopping session and they would criticize all of it for some reason...
:O why the shopping critique! That's not very nice. And I am sorry to hear about the flatmate. If he's Italian he might be the one walking around half naked. I have memories of one of my uni mates wearing the tiniest towel around his waist after the shower and playing the banjo in the hallway.
Omg you crack me up. 😂 I don’t think I could handle never having the house to myself for three years. 😅 But all questions are very valid. When I was first with my husband, his Dad also lived with him so I can relate to these dilemmas but mostly I just walked around in my nightie without a bra so I guess I didn’t worry if it was appropriate or not. 🙈🤦🏻♀️😂
Thanks Debbie! I knew it wasn't just me. Wondering if it could be a cultural thing though? I am pretty sure every time I had guests overnight, even at my parents' place, I'd open all the doors to orientate them.
ok, the first time I visited my mother in law for the summer and I saw her folding my underwear I was mortified. Like how on earth do you live with other families? And ones that actually do chores?
It's a bit weird, right? I guess there is an overall sense of 'being a good host' that they are fully entitled to have, hence I didn't kick and scream to do my own laundry. But where is the line between being a respectful guest, and pulling your weight?
Funny story, as usual, and I loved the connection you made with Bluebeard. Very fitting, but unexpected!
But I have to say what struck me the most was the "background" info about your own childhood, opposed from your boyfriend's family life. That must have been very tough. It made me think that many comedians use humor to talk about painful truths. Sending hugs!
Nobody ever thinks of Bluebeard ;) thanks for your comment, and yes, sometimes I have to remind myself this isn't therapy (yet!) but I have to admit comedians that can be vulnerable and open are my favourite
I loved reading this so much, but Barbs! You unleashed a flood of questions in my mind now! I haven't experienced this before and I have NO idea how I will behave, react etc. if this does happen. I often want to busy myself, help out in the kitchen, do something, but what if they tell me to just sit and relax? Of course I'd listen, because I don't want to disrupt the family system and how they work, but oh my gosh. Also, my hair tends to be either a tad crazy, because curls, or wavy, because flat-iron and with the latter I find I "shed" a bit more. I already dislike when I see my own hair on the floor, but to have this happen at my future in-laws home? *flails*
..... Thanks for unlocking a new fear! I shed hair too, I am very aware of this fact especially when I shower (Hello, team collecting hair on the wall of the shower so it's easier to clean up) but I never thought of vacuuming everywhere in their home D: ... They had dogs so maybe hair on the carpet wasn't a big deal? As for the housework, I landed with helping out with laundry more or less consistently, I found that was what worked for us. Not a golden rule, but hopefully reassuring?
Awwww, I loved this, the innocence of wondering about the mysterious bedroom/extra bathroom is super sweet. I think every family is like it's own unique organism, working in super different ways. I once lived with my now mother-in-law for two months WITHOUT my partner (who was at the time living in a different city), all while I didn't speak the same language. Talk about being thrown in cold water. Beautifully written, I lolled at "Their floor was a floor, but every horizontal surface had mountain ranges."
living with the 'in-laws' without the partner present and with a language barrier sounds stressful. May I ask what cultural background you were living in? Were habits similar, or did you experience culture shock within 4 walls? My partner confirmed that most of his relatives and friends' parents seem to accumulate objects, likely from when they first got to the country and needed to save/make do with what they had. Throwing things away seemed a waste and that stuck with a generation.
I had just moved to Germany, so it was a bit of a culture difference (eg, way more direct communication, in Ireland people are very shy and indirect). Definitely lots of culture shock! I can totally understand what your boyfriend described as the emigrant “hoarder” mindset. It’s similar to grandparents who ply you with food and overfeed grandkids - they had such shortages of food from being war kids that they really fixate on that even in their old age.
Yes, the focus on nourishment is definitely a big part of many cultures!
I'm here Honey. Whenever you need it 🤣😘
I never had a "to bra or not to bra" dilemma, but had the same problem with tshirts, when I am hosting female friends. Or being hosted ofc. Overall it is not annoying, apart from the small moments, like: "do I really need to put on a tshirt just to walk from the bathroom to my bedroom?".
PS: I expected the last photo would include some kind of revelation about their bedroom😂
I'd say that's pretty much the same issue. So, how did you solve it? Also, the bedroom was a normal bedroom with no decoration, I should have taken a pic regardless, just for the build-up. But when the toilet paper accident happened I wasn't planning to write a blog post about it XD
Well I didn't really solve it. I just put on a tshirt, unless I just wake up in the middle of the night for a toilet run, in which case my mental bandwidth only includes "you-up-toilet-sleep".
I guess during the day is not as bad as having to wear a bra all the time. It is more the extra consideration that you always need to remember to wear something extra.
Midnight toilet sessions must be like international waters. Socially accepted grey-area.
Hahahaha exactly!
I'm moving in with a flat mate soon and I'm already grieving all the walking around naked that I'm doing now. My core memories of growing up with two brothers and a dad in the house were primarily good but I was always forced to show off items of my shopping session and they would criticize all of it for some reason...
:O why the shopping critique! That's not very nice. And I am sorry to hear about the flatmate. If he's Italian he might be the one walking around half naked. I have memories of one of my uni mates wearing the tiniest towel around his waist after the shower and playing the banjo in the hallway.
Omg you crack me up. 😂 I don’t think I could handle never having the house to myself for three years. 😅 But all questions are very valid. When I was first with my husband, his Dad also lived with him so I can relate to these dilemmas but mostly I just walked around in my nightie without a bra so I guess I didn’t worry if it was appropriate or not. 🙈🤦🏻♀️😂
I mean, I didn't live three years WITH a bra, but the whole 'living with a dad' thing was stressful
Wow, three years? 😂😂😂 I'd be super curious too, to see behind that door!!
And, "Not hoard: store. Just in case." 😂😂😂 now there's a new way of looking at things 🤔
Laughs aside, I can appreciate your dilemma. Sounds like you handled it really well though, despite the initial anxieties ❤️
Thanks Debbie! I knew it wasn't just me. Wondering if it could be a cultural thing though? I am pretty sure every time I had guests overnight, even at my parents' place, I'd open all the doors to orientate them.
I wouldn't say it's an Aussie thing, but perhaps just an individual family cultural thing?
Your retelling of Bluebeard is iconic. "One day, he had to leave the castle to go to work or whatever." 😂
All of that from memory! Maybe he left to find another wife preemptively. That would be efficient.
Actually though 😂
Hahahaha!!!
My spidey sense and a vague knowledge of aunt C. tell me that Furby had an involuntary albeit tragic ending, possibly underwater.
UNDERWATER!?!?!? I thought she rolled down the Citroën window and yeeted it in the forest just on the way down! :O
That was my first thought but I think it may have ended in the Sarche 😅