I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling the edgy vibes of Melbourne ;) Though I wonder if someone who moved from another city (idk, Berlin? NY?) would just think it's a normal city.
Love this write up!! I do think we have a habit of over romanticising places and things… maybe it’s a way of dealing with the mundane, to make something out of nothing, just adding to a highlight reel when most it is probably boring. On that point I haven’t been swooped on for a while 😆
Hahaha Don't jinx it! When you're on vacation, it's perfectly normal to enjoy things and wear rose-tinted glasses. And, of course, you wouldn't share pictures of bins from your holiday XD But from there I wouldn't jump to say 'everything here is perfect I will move here tomorrow'.
I was hoping not to sound too negative towards those who moved to Italy ^^' Do you feel the same way thinking about your new home, though? Still in the honeymoon phase?
It didn't read negative to me at all, it read REAL. I think a lot of times when people relocate abroad, there's this ignorance is bliss type of vibe where they don't see the systems and everything under the surface that a native born person would because they haven't experienced things at the same level—which is understandable.
I'm less in the honeymoon phase now and have come back down to earth. There's still a lot more that I appreciate about Thailand than Canada though.
Being from Spain (and having lived in Italy) this resonates so much with me! There's a growing romantisation (not sure this is even a word) of certain cultures and lifestyles that those of us who grew up in them can understand but also realise why we escape from them. Although I guess this can be applied to any country depending on who you ask.
While I love the Mediterranean way of life, were I to live in Spain or Italy I am not sure I would be enjoying it so much as there would be a high price to pay in the shape of poorer job opportunities and career prospects, housing has become as expensive as in London in cities like Madrid, Barcelona or Milan while salaries are usually half of those in UK, everyone knows your business whether you want it or not, and while culture is definitely available it is not necessarily as diverse or global so you end up in an echo chamber of tastes, belief systems and traditions, which is the reason I personally left in first place.
I'm sure I have romanticised many places because I've had lovely experiences that perhaps were the product of a brief moment in time, but now that I'm older I have come to accept that every lifestyle comes with its own set of challenges and compromises so it's about what we are willing to give up in order to sustain it and for how long and whether it's worth it.
Such an important perspective. I have never been to Spain (omg, I know, how did that even happen?!) but I've heard that romanticisation brings gentrification, rather than opening up that 'echo chamber' you mentioned. I am glad you still managed to enjoy places yet understanding there is a stark difference between loving a superficial holiday and moving somewhere for the long run.
Good one, as always! "Italy looked beautiful on a Tiktak with French music in the background" made me chuckle! I'm so glad you found your dimension in Melbourne!
I have lived in Italy for 30 years. Half of my life. And from the very beginning I was and still am shocked that they live in medieval times. I love Italy. But there is a big difference between tourism and emigration...
Hahah that's absolutely right! I love a Medieval vibe, but when the internet is down because a mouse chewed the cables and the internet company won't come to my mountain for a week, then I might as well switch to pigeon messengers. Good job on making it there for 30 years! I must check out your blog to learn more about your adventures!
I was married for 22 years and lived between Naples and Salerno. South. I never could understand why a "good" woman could not go out if not accompanied by a man. How many times I was treated as a "bad" woman when I had to enter a bar to take coffee and my husband waited for me in the car... How many times I cried about such humiliations... Northern Italy where I live now is somewhat different. No doubts. But..
I've never been further south than Rome, and Rome still feels like a big village somehow! I'm from the very north (where the mountains are and where people like to think they're Austrian) and I get claustrophobic only thinking about it. It might not be an oppressive society (I only got questioned once for being alone in a cemetery) but you know...
I actually know many people who are not accepted here all their lives. And not only foreigners, but also Italians born abroad and forced to come and live in Italy for some reason. It is our problem, but we have to accept it as a natural disaster. Or turn back... :-)
My wife is Italian (northern Italy) we’ve been living in the states (currently Hawai’i) and she’s ready to go home and be closer to her roots and family again.
I'm from northern Italy too and I can definitely see the appeal of living in Hawaii ;) I'm assuming you visited Italy before, how do you see moving there?
Ah sorry missed the last most important part! Good to hear you're okay moving to Italy :) although living there is definitely different than being a tourist
Oh no way! Shes from suditrol // bolzano // muhlbach to be exact!
Hawai’i is great, with its flaws of course - high cost of living, slow, corrupt amongst other things but it’s home.
And yes, we’ve been back to visit her family twice last year.
It’ll be a fairly simple process for us (her with an italian passport and gaining my residency doesn’t look too hard) compared to what she went through with the green card / citizenship process in the states.
Ahhh I'm a neighbour from Trento! (Riva del Garda to be precise) . Wait, Hawaii has corruption? I am not sure what I was imagining but not high cost of living. I guess tourism hit there too.
Yay! another fellow Aussie (although I am still new to this country)! what's your take on moving to the other side of the world on a whim? Have you done it yourself or do you know someone who did it?
I’m so glad you found your place! I think I have similar complicated feelings about California as yours about Italy. When I tell people anywhere abroad that I left, they look at me like I’m crazy, and talk about their wonderful vacation in California, or their dream of living there.
Somehow, they don’t seem to notice the rampant homelessness, the fact that wildfires are now a year-round phenomenon, the insane cost of living, the hours and hours spent in gridlock traffic, the way I can’t even recognise my hometown because the touristy Main Street is all prettied up, but the park where I played as a kid and my husband and I made out when we were dating is full of drug-dealers.
That's such a great point. See? The un-beautiful moments are always so obvious when you leave. I feel like we should start a chain! Someone who left 'ugly' Melbourne for somewhere else, someone who moved to California as their perfect place... Let's go full circle!
This was spicy and I really liked it! I felt your annoyance.
This is a great line too: "It asked you to build it out of contradiction, caffeine, and imagination."
Very true in my experience.
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling the edgy vibes of Melbourne ;) Though I wonder if someone who moved from another city (idk, Berlin? NY?) would just think it's a normal city.
I'm glad you found your happy place. Clearly Italy wasn't it!
Love this write up!! I do think we have a habit of over romanticising places and things… maybe it’s a way of dealing with the mundane, to make something out of nothing, just adding to a highlight reel when most it is probably boring. On that point I haven’t been swooped on for a while 😆
Hahaha Don't jinx it! When you're on vacation, it's perfectly normal to enjoy things and wear rose-tinted glasses. And, of course, you wouldn't share pictures of bins from your holiday XD But from there I wouldn't jump to say 'everything here is perfect I will move here tomorrow'.
Totally agree. A holiday is very different than living in a place.
God this was refreshing.
I was hoping not to sound too negative towards those who moved to Italy ^^' Do you feel the same way thinking about your new home, though? Still in the honeymoon phase?
It didn't read negative to me at all, it read REAL. I think a lot of times when people relocate abroad, there's this ignorance is bliss type of vibe where they don't see the systems and everything under the surface that a native born person would because they haven't experienced things at the same level—which is understandable.
I'm less in the honeymoon phase now and have come back down to earth. There's still a lot more that I appreciate about Thailand than Canada though.
Being from Spain (and having lived in Italy) this resonates so much with me! There's a growing romantisation (not sure this is even a word) of certain cultures and lifestyles that those of us who grew up in them can understand but also realise why we escape from them. Although I guess this can be applied to any country depending on who you ask.
While I love the Mediterranean way of life, were I to live in Spain or Italy I am not sure I would be enjoying it so much as there would be a high price to pay in the shape of poorer job opportunities and career prospects, housing has become as expensive as in London in cities like Madrid, Barcelona or Milan while salaries are usually half of those in UK, everyone knows your business whether you want it or not, and while culture is definitely available it is not necessarily as diverse or global so you end up in an echo chamber of tastes, belief systems and traditions, which is the reason I personally left in first place.
I'm sure I have romanticised many places because I've had lovely experiences that perhaps were the product of a brief moment in time, but now that I'm older I have come to accept that every lifestyle comes with its own set of challenges and compromises so it's about what we are willing to give up in order to sustain it and for how long and whether it's worth it.
Such an important perspective. I have never been to Spain (omg, I know, how did that even happen?!) but I've heard that romanticisation brings gentrification, rather than opening up that 'echo chamber' you mentioned. I am glad you still managed to enjoy places yet understanding there is a stark difference between loving a superficial holiday and moving somewhere for the long run.
Good one, as always! "Italy looked beautiful on a Tiktak with French music in the background" made me chuckle! I'm so glad you found your dimension in Melbourne!
😘 Cate, thanks for commenting and noticing the irony!
Your Italian pictures look like a dream but I have never heard this perspective but I fully get it. 🫶🏻
The un-beautiful moments!
I love seeing you are at “home”, and that home is somewhere that can be beautiful and beautifying. But Not necessarily.
I have lived in Italy for 30 years. Half of my life. And from the very beginning I was and still am shocked that they live in medieval times. I love Italy. But there is a big difference between tourism and emigration...
Hahah that's absolutely right! I love a Medieval vibe, but when the internet is down because a mouse chewed the cables and the internet company won't come to my mountain for a week, then I might as well switch to pigeon messengers. Good job on making it there for 30 years! I must check out your blog to learn more about your adventures!
:-) :-) Hope you will like it :-)))
I was married for 22 years and lived between Naples and Salerno. South. I never could understand why a "good" woman could not go out if not accompanied by a man. How many times I was treated as a "bad" woman when I had to enter a bar to take coffee and my husband waited for me in the car... How many times I cried about such humiliations... Northern Italy where I live now is somewhat different. No doubts. But..
I've never been further south than Rome, and Rome still feels like a big village somehow! I'm from the very north (where the mountains are and where people like to think they're Austrian) and I get claustrophobic only thinking about it. It might not be an oppressive society (I only got questioned once for being alone in a cemetery) but you know...
I actually know many people who are not accepted here all their lives. And not only foreigners, but also Italians born abroad and forced to come and live in Italy for some reason. It is our problem, but we have to accept it as a natural disaster. Or turn back... :-)
My wife is Italian (northern Italy) we’ve been living in the states (currently Hawai’i) and she’s ready to go home and be closer to her roots and family again.
And I’m ok with that.
I'm from northern Italy too and I can definitely see the appeal of living in Hawaii ;) I'm assuming you visited Italy before, how do you see moving there?
Ah sorry missed the last most important part! Good to hear you're okay moving to Italy :) although living there is definitely different than being a tourist
Oh no way! Shes from suditrol // bolzano // muhlbach to be exact!
Hawai’i is great, with its flaws of course - high cost of living, slow, corrupt amongst other things but it’s home.
And yes, we’ve been back to visit her family twice last year.
It’ll be a fairly simple process for us (her with an italian passport and gaining my residency doesn’t look too hard) compared to what she went through with the green card / citizenship process in the states.
But this is a 2026/2027 goal :)
Ahhh I'm a neighbour from Trento! (Riva del Garda to be precise) . Wait, Hawaii has corruption? I am not sure what I was imagining but not high cost of living. I guess tourism hit there too.
Oh wow!! That looks like an hour train ride down!
And yes, unfortunately to both.
I’m in the film business and it’s a dead halt, first time in 20yrs there has not been a production shot in Hawaii.
The industry/state is currently having a hard time due to politics and tourism 😅
That's a fascinating industry. I noticed you wrote about it in your blog, I better check it out :)
It really is!
and thank you 🤙🏽
I'm going to add this to my article. My family is from Bundaberg, QLD.
Yay! another fellow Aussie (although I am still new to this country)! what's your take on moving to the other side of the world on a whim? Have you done it yourself or do you know someone who did it?
I’m so glad you found your place! I think I have similar complicated feelings about California as yours about Italy. When I tell people anywhere abroad that I left, they look at me like I’m crazy, and talk about their wonderful vacation in California, or their dream of living there.
Somehow, they don’t seem to notice the rampant homelessness, the fact that wildfires are now a year-round phenomenon, the insane cost of living, the hours and hours spent in gridlock traffic, the way I can’t even recognise my hometown because the touristy Main Street is all prettied up, but the park where I played as a kid and my husband and I made out when we were dating is full of drug-dealers.
That's such a great point. See? The un-beautiful moments are always so obvious when you leave. I feel like we should start a chain! Someone who left 'ugly' Melbourne for somewhere else, someone who moved to California as their perfect place... Let's go full circle!